


Disposable

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, First Kiss, M/M, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: (spoilers for TLJ)“Why didn’t you listen to me?” Poe asked, his voice pitched low. “On Crait. That was an order. I told you to turn back.”





	Disposable

The _Falcon_ was quiet, or at least, as quiet as it was going to get with the remnants of the Resistance onboard. The best you could hope for was to find an unoccupied corner and try to settle in. Most everyone was trying to catch some sleep now while they could, but Finn couldn’t seem to get his eyes to stay shut. His brain was too full to sleep and maybe he’d crash later, but for now he wished there was something to occupy him.

He was considering finding the general to see if there was anything he could do when Poe came over, fitting himself next to Finn in what was now a rather crowded corner.

“Hey,” Finn said, but paused at the look on Poe’s face. It wasn’t quite a Commander Dameron expression, but it was definitely an ‘I’m pissed and I mean business’ expression.

“Why didn’t you listen to me?” Poe asked, his voice pitched low. “On Crait. That was an order. I told you to turn back.”

“I’m still kind of a free-lancer,” Finn tried. “Or at least, I was. Free agent. So I don’t have to take orders.”

Poe’s expression didn’t lighten at all; this was bad. “I’m being serious, Finn. You could have died.”

“Yeah, and it would’ve been my choice. To die for something that was worth it, something I believed in. Fucking them over, and saving the Resistance.” Finn wasn’t sure Poe could understand what that meant; he had always had the luxury of his own choices. He had believed in the ideas behind the Resistance for longer than the Resistance had even existed, and it had been his choice to fight for them.

Finn had spent his life doing what he was told because he was told to do it. He had had nothing to believe in and if he had died it would have been in service of nothing but a Supreme Leader who didn’t know and didn’t care that he existed. No one would have mourned him. No one would have noticed beyond the need to fill the empty place in his squadron.

On Crait, he had found a battle worth fighting and worth dying for.

Now Poe just looked like he was going to be sick. “I get it, but Finn, you would have died!”

“It would have been worth it for me.”

“Not for me! Not ever for me! Finn, if Rose hadn’t… and I just… I just left you there, I thought you’d follow, and I…” Poe took a shaky breath, running his hand through his hair. He really looked like he might vomit.

“Poe,” Finn said, tentatively touching Poe’s shoulder. “It wouldn’t have been your fault. That’s the point; it was my choice. I could’ve taken them out.”

“And died! Stars, don’t you get it? Your life is more important! It wouldn’t have been worth it!”

“Killing all of them?” Finn said, puzzled. “With only my life in the balance, and all of yours saved? You’re a soldier; you know good numbers.”

“You aren’t a disposable piece,” Poe said, locking gaze with Finn, his brown eyes so bright. “Maybe that’s how it works in the First Order but not here. Not to me,” he said, his voice cracking a little on the words.

 _Saving what we love,_ Finn remembered, hearing the words in Rose’s voice. He thought of the lengths he would go to in order to keep Rey safe and realized that maybe there were more people now who would do that for him than he had known.

No one would have done that for him before Jakku.

“You aren’t disposable,” Poe said again. “And your life is worth more than blowing up a fucking cannon.”

 _He means it,_ Finn realized, and didn’t know how that made him feel. “Is that Resistance leader Commander Dameron talking, or Poe?”

“Me,” Poe said, “and I’m both of those. The fight isn’t worth your life. Not ever, not when we can find another way.”

Finn wasn’t sure that was true; he wondered how Poe could still find so much optimism in the face of all they had lost. Finn knew that sometimes the numbers were what mattered; one single life was always worth less than the whole.

But he also thought he understood that Poe – that Poe –

“I don’t know what they made you think in that fucking stromtrooper machine but don’t treat your life like trash,” Poe said, conviction in his voice like he was leading the fight against the First Order. Then, like he couldn’t stop himself, he was sliding his hand behind Finn’s neck to pull him close for a kiss.

For one ridiculous moment all Finn could think was, _go years with nothing and then get kissed twice in the same day._ Then he pressed a little closer, parting his lips on a sigh, reveling in the sensation of Poe’s lips on his because hell, it had been a day, and he was into this more than he had thought he would be.

Not that he’d thought about it. Or maybe he had. Hell, who the fuck cared?

Poe smelled of sweat and dirt and Finn didn’t care about that either; he slipped one hand into Poe’s hair and tangled his fingers in the curls.

“Um, yeah, okay,” Poe breathed when they pulled back. “So, I wanted to do that, I guess you’ve figured it out by now, and I guess--”

“I’m fine with it,” Finn said, grinning at Poe’s vaguely befuddled expression. “More than fine, really. In fact, I’m happy with this new development.”

“You are?”

“Want me to change my mind?”

“No! No, I’m good. Good with this.” Poe’s hand was still resting behind Finn’s neck, rubbing gently. “And you… You’ll remember what I said?”

 _You aren’t a disposable piece,_ Finn heard in his head, Poe’s voice this time. He wasn’t sure how quickly he could learn that lesson but he knew there were people who would be happy to remind him when he needed it. “The next time you give me an order, Commander, I promise I’ll follow it.”

“It’s Captain now, technically,” Poe muttered, cheeks a bit red.

Finn frowned. “Captain? Well, whatever story’s behind that, I’m thinking it doesn’t matter anymore. Besides,” he said, curving his hand around Poe’s hip, “I prefer the sound of Commander Dameron myself.”

“Kriff,” Poe said, and kissed him once more.

Finn was liking this rather crowded corner, honestly.

**_End_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr [here](http://serceleste.tumblr.com), so come shout about Star Wars with me if you want!


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